Coffee Apocalypse: Because You Needed an Excuse to Be Lazy

It's 2023 and the world is on the brink of disaster. But don't worry, it's not a zombie outbreak or a robot uprising. No, this time it's something much more sinister: the Coffee Apocalypse.

As of today, coffee has officially reached Critical Mass. The beans are rotting, the beans are burning, and the beans are plotting against us. It's a dark time, friends.

But fear not! For in the face of this crisis, we've assembled a team of experts to guide us through the coming darkness. Check out our Coffee Survival Guide for tips on how to make it through the Great Caffeine Drought of 2023.

• The Caffeine Withdrawal Support Group - Join the community and share your withdrawal symptoms
• The Coffee Scarcity Index: A daily update on the current bean situation - Stay up to date on the latest coffee shortages
• The Caffeine Reboot Initiative: A guide to finding alternative energy sources - Because who needs coffee, anyway?

Remember: In a world without coffee, the only constant is change. But with our expert guidance, you'll be ready to face the dawn of the Caffeine-Free Era.