For the most discerning mud-dweller, we have the Mega-Mud Salad, a behemoth of a dish fit for the gods of the bog.
• 3 cups of the finest, plumpest mud (preferably from the depths of the nearby swamp)
• 1 cup of crushed, organic, locally-sourced twigs
• 1/2 cup of artisanal, imported, hand-harvested water
• 1/4 cup of locally-made, vegan-friendly mud-cheese (contains no animal products, but still tastes like dirt)