Because, let's face it, you're probably going to have to deal with some bureaucrats today, so here's a few tips:
When speaking to a bureaucrat, it's essential to enunciate. Don't worry about sounding like a drunk, just enunciate like a champ!
When the Cops Are at the DoorWhen filling out forms, don't bother with fancy penmanship. Use a Sharpie, and make sure your handwriting is illegible. It's a sign of sophistication.
When the Form is a MazeWhen dealing with a bureaucrat, it's essential to be polite, even if they're being a pain. Remember, they're just trying to do their job, even if that job is soul-sucking.
When the Bureaucrat is Being a BureaucratAnd that's it! Follow these tips, and you'll be well on your way to becoming a master of Bureaucratic Etiquette for the Inebriated.