A program for people who are not actually doing anything productive
Send us your existential dread, and maybe we'll send you a participation trophy.
Email: derelictempowermentprogram@yay.com
Phone: 1-800-DERELICT (1-800-333-754
Address: 123 Main St, Nowheresville, USA 12345
To help people who are already doomed to fail, fail even harder, faster, and with more enthusiasm.
We're like the AA for people who are already on their way to the abyss, but without the whole "not drinking" part.
We'll provide you with resources, support, and maybe some snacks.