It's time to evaluate the performance of our esteemed employees, who have been working tirelessly for us while we've been working for them.
Our process is simple: We stare at you for hours, take notes, and wonder why you still can't get the stapler to work.
Review our Employee Handbook for more details
Check out our benefits package, because, you know, it's not like you'll ever use it
Vote for Employee of the Month, because someone has to win
Read about our strict, totally-not-made-up employment laws
By participating in this performance review, you acknowledge that you are not actually a good employee. This review is for entertainment purposes only.