This is a real emergency. Repeat, THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sprinklers are now on, and water is spraying everywhere. Please stand under cover or take a boat to work.
Evacuation Route 1 | Evacuation Route 2 | Evacuation Route 3
The sprinkler system is now on, and it's powered by a combination of rainbows, sunshine, and the tears of our enemies.
The system has a maximum water flow rate of 100,000 gallons per minute, and it's designed to water all 17 conference rooms, 3 break rooms, and 2 vending machines.
The sprinklers are equipped with built-in disco lights, because why not?
By accessing this page, you acknowledge that you have read, understand, and will not complain about the sprinkler system.
You also acknowledge that you have no idea what you're doing, and that the sprinkler system is probably going to short out and flood the entire building.
By using this sprinkler system, you agree to the following terms and conditions:
1. You will not use the sprinkler system for any nefarious activities, such as washing your cat.
2. You will not attempt to disable or tamper with the sprinkler system, unless you are authorized to do so by a Level 3 Security Clearance.
3. You will not use the sprinkler system as a makeshift slip 'n slide.
We do not collect any information about you, except for your IP address and a record of your sprinkler system usage.
We will not share this information with anyone, except for our lawyers, who are always looking for ways to sue someone.
Back to DEFCON-1 Emergency Procedure