Panic Button Techniques

Technique 2: Throw Things at People

Warning: This technique requires a high degree of physical and emotional control. Proceed with caution.

1. Identify your attacker's weaknesses. Is it a lack of reflexes? A fear of projectiles? A general incompetence?
2. Choose a suitable projectile. We recommend a well-placed vase, a trusty rock, or a strategically-placed bag of popcorn.
3. Assess your surroundings. Are there any nearby civilians you'd like to avoid hitting?
4. Engage the panic mode! Throw, toss, or launch your projectile with reckless abandon!