Welcome to the Utopian Republic: Where Happiness is Mandatory
We're glad you're interested in joining the most fantastic, the most extraordinary, the most unbelievable utopia the world has ever seen!
As a citizen of the Utopian Republic, you'll enjoy:
But wait, there's more! As a citizen of the Utopian Republic, you'll also be expected to:
- Attend daily meetings to discuss the meaning of life and the best ways to optimize your happiness
- Participate in mandatory community service, including but not limited to: park cleanups, charity work, and spontaneous acts of kindness
- Submit to regular psychological evaluations to ensure your mental health and well-being are within acceptable parameters
Don't worry, it's all worth it! We promise you'll be the happiest, most fulfilled person on the planet!
Fine Print
By applying for citizenship, you agree to abide by the Utopian Republic's Constitution, which includes but not limited to:
- Article 1: Thou shalt smile every morning and every evening.
- Article 2: Thou shalt attend every meeting and participate in every discussion.
- Article 3: Thou shalt love thy fellow citizens with all the love in thy heart, even if they annoy thee.