A Guide to Self-Annihilation through Unconventional Means
Are you tired of the usual self-destruction methods? Sick of the same old self-immolation techniques? Look no further! This guide will walk you through the art of pressing the self-destruct button with a toaster.
Step 1: Gather Materials
First, acquire a toaster. Not just any toaster will do. No, you need a toaster with a certain je ne qu'il.
- Unplug it. Don't just unplug it, rip those cords out of the wall. Make it a statement.
- Place it in front of the self-destruct button, preferably on top of a pile of Cheetos.
- Press the self-destruct button. Not just press it, stomp on it like it owes you money.
Step 2: Safety Precautions
Don't forget to turn off the oven. Not just the toaster, the oven. The oven is like, super hot, man.
Also, make sure you're not in a hurry. This is a process, people! Take your time.
And for the love of all things good and holy, do not, I repeat, DO NOT press the self-destruct button while wearing a watch with a built-in timer.
Step 3: The Aftermath
When the dust settles and the self-destruct button has been pressed, take a moment to reflect on your actions. Ask yourself, "Was it worth it?"
If the answer is no, congratulations! You've found the true meaning of life. If the answer is yes, well... start over.
Additional Tips
Remember, the key to pressing the self-destruct button with a toaster is not just the action itself, but the journey. The journey, not the destination.
Or, you know, maybe just don't do it at all. That's a good option too.