html Self-Help for the Utterly Confused

Step 3: You're Not a Morning Person

Embracing the Dark Side of Your Existence

It's time to face the truth: you're not a morning person. You're not a 'rise and shine' kind of person. You're more of a 'hit the snooze button and pray for the best' kind of person.

But don't worry, this is not a judgment. We're all just pretending to be functioning adults here. So, let's get into it.

Here are some tips to help you cope with your nocturnal nature:

Invest in a good coffee machine. One that's as bitter as your soul.
Learn to appreciate the beauty of a well-placed nap.
Develop a system of excuses for why you can't get out of bed.

And for the love of all things good, don't forget the most important step:

Hit the snooze button. Repeatedly.

You're welcome.

Step 4: Your Social Life is a Lie