Unconventional Self-Help for the Utterly Confused

Are you feeling lost? Do you have a crippling sense of purposelessness? Look no further than Self-Help 3/1/5/7, where our team of expertly trained professionals will guide you down the rabbit hole of existential dread.

We offer a variety of services, including:

• The Agony of Despair
• The Futility of Existence
• The Inevitable Downfall of Society

But wait, there's more! Our special of the month is the "I'm a Woke, but also a Wretch" package, where we'll guide you through the minefield of social justice and societal expectations.

Don't wait any longer, contact us today to schedule your appointment!

Phone: 1-800-HELPS-ME

Address: 123 Somewhere St, Nowhere, USA 45678