Q: Is this Self-Help Actually Helpful?

Our experts have spent years studying the art of doing absolutely nothing, and we're proud to offer you this comprehensive guide on how to waste your life away.

Q: How do I make excuses for not having done anything productive today?

A: The Art of Excuse-Crafting

Step 1: Claim you were "just taking a break" for 8 hours.

Q: How do I convince my family that my cat is secretly a spy and that's why I'm not doing anything productive?

A: The Cat-Spy Theory

Just tell them it's a little-known fact that cats are actually highly trained operatives, and you're just gathering intel.