How to be a functioning member of society in 24 hours

A step-by-step guide to not failing at adult life

Step 1: Wake up, get a shower, and wear clothes Step 2: Eat something that won't kill you Step 3: Learn to use a toilet Step 4: Find a job that doesn't involve too much human interaction Step 5: Develop a hobby that doesn't involve video games Note: This response is a satirical take on the original request.