Frequently Asked Questions (Frequently Unanswered)

Q: What is the Seltzer Squad?

We're a group of highly trained, highly caffeinated individuals who answer questions you didn't ask, and sometimes ones you did. Our motto: "Because you asked us to."

Q: Why do you have such a weird name?

It's a long story involving a typo, a misunderstanding, and a can of seltzer water. Ask us about it, we'll probably make something up.

Q: Can you really serve seltzer water in your soda shop?

Only on Fridays. And only if we feel like it. And only if you ask nicely.

Q: Do you have a secret menu?

No, it's not a menu, it's a series of cryptic messages etched into a mirror in our break room. Don't ask about it, just look for the one that says "Don't ask."

Q: What's the deal with the weird smell in the back room?

That's just our resident artist, Bertrand, experimenting with new scents. He's trying to "break free" from the traditional boundaries of olfactory art.

See also:

About Us (Sort Of)

Seltzer Squadron (Our Imaginary Sibling)

Frequently Asked Questions We Never Answered