Terms of Service: Because You're Sticking Around
Preamble: Don't Make Us Have to Ban You
By accessing this website, you agree to our terms of service. If you don't, we'll have to ban you. And let's be real, you're probably not that popular.
Section 1: No Hacking or Spamming, Please
Don't even think about it. We have a team of highly trained monkeys who can detect even the slightest whiff of suspicious activity. They're fast, they're fierce, and they're not afraid to sue.
Section 2: No Sharing Your Passwords with Grandma
Come on, don't be that guy. We all love Grandma, but no, really, just no.
Section 3: No Making Us Listen to Your PowerPoint Presentations
We've got a meeting room with a nice view, but we'd rather not have to attend it. Use a video conferencing platform, or better yet, just send us an email.