Mastering the Art of Doing Absolutely Nothing

Step 3 of 5: The Sloth-Focus Technique

In this step, you'll learn how to optimize your productivity by eliminating all productivity.

Sub-Step 3.1: The Art of Procrastination by Proxy

Learn how to delegate tasks to your subordinates (aka your couch, your phone, or your favorite snack).

• Delegate tasks to your couch: "I'll just take a 5-minute break and watch this video." - 3 hours later
• Delegate tasks to your phone: "I'll just check my social media real quick." - 4 hours later
• Delegate tasks to your favorite snack: "I'll just grab a snack real quick." - 2 hours later

Remember, the key to success is not to be productive, but to be consistently unproductive.

Sub-Step 3.2: The Art of Creating New Excuses

Learn how to craft the perfect excuse for not doing anything.

• I'm waiting for the coffee to brew.
• I'm on a break from the world.
• I'm in a meeting with my cat.

Remember, the more creative the excuse, the more believable it will be.

Continue to Step 4: The Art of Multitasking (or is it Multidelaying?)

Or, if you're feeling adventurous, try our advanced technique: Multitasking (or is it Multidelaying?)

Or, if you're feeling really adventurous, try our expert technique: The Art of Procrastination by Inertia