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Overstuffed Bagel Recipes

The Art of Excess, The Joy of Gluttony

Recipe 1: The Overstuffed Bagel of Doom

Ingredients:

• 1 dozen bagels
• 1 lb cream cheese
• 1 cup lox
• 1 cup capers
• 1 cup chopped red onion
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh dill

Instructions:

1. Slice open 12 bagels
2. Fill each with cream cheese, lox, capers, onion, and dill
3. Serve immediately, before the consequences of your actions come back to haunt you

Recipe 2: The Everything Bagel of Despair

Ingredients:

• 1 dozen bagels
• 1 cup sesame seeds
• 1 cup poppy seeds
• 1 cup dried onion
• 1 cup dried garlic
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley

Instructions:

1. Slice open 12 bagels
2. Fill each with sesame seeds, poppy seeds, dried onion, dried garlic, and parsley
3. Serve with a side of existential dread

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