We, the snack connoisseurs, declare that the pursuit of optimal snacking is a fundamental human right. We demand an end to the tyranny of the bland and boring, and an era of unbridled snacking freedom.
Article I: The Right to Free Choice
We assert that every individual has the inalienable right to choose from a diverse array of snacks, unencumbered by the shackles of dietary dogma or social expectations.
Article II: The Obligation to Indulge
We hold that the pursuit of optimal snacking necessitates a commitment to unrelenting indulgence, and that the only way to truly experience the full range of human flavor is through unapologetic overconsumption.
Article III: The Prohibition on Guilt
We declare that the scourge of snack-related guilt is a scourge upon the land, and that the only way to truly live is to live without remorse or self-flagellation.
Article IV: The Right to Self-Regulation
We assert that the individual has the inalienable right to regulate their own snacking, unfettered by the tyranny of societal expectations or the blandishments of marketing.
Article V: The Obligation to Share
We hold that the joy of snacking is only amplified when shared with others, and that the communal snacking experience is essential to the human experience.
Article VI: The Prohibition on Blandness
We declare that the scourge of bland snacking is a scourge upon the land, and that the only way to truly live is to live with flavor and with passion.
We, the signers of this manifesto, do hereby pledge to uphold these sacred principles, and to never let our snacking be defined by the whims of the unenlightened.
For more on our glorious vision of a snacking utopia, visit The Snacking Utopia.
Or, for a more detailed treatise on our stance on The Supremacy of Snacks.
And for a comprehensive guide to our approach to The Art of Overconsumption.
Join us, and together let us shape the future of snacking, unbound by the shackles of conventional thought!
The Snacktivist Movement is here to guide you every step of the way!