We, the undersigned, hereby vow to stuff our faces with the most absurd, the most decadent, the most unapologetically excessive snacks known to humanity. We pledge to defy the tyranny of the dietitian, to reject the bland and boring, and to demand a world where nachos are always free and pizza is always delivered at 3 am.
Article I: Freedom to Eat Whatever We Want, Whenever We Want, Without Judgment or Consequence
We, the undersigned, declare that we are willing to eat an entire pizza by ourselves in one sitting, and we will not be ashamed or apologetic about it. We will not be swayed by the siren song of "but you're so close to your goal" or "think of all the calories you'll save." No, we will eat that entire pizza like the revolutionaries that we are.
Article II: The Right to Unapologetic Snackification
We, the undersigned, declare that we will not be deterred by the haters or the self-righteous, that we will not be ashamed to be seen eating an entire bag of chips in one sitting. We will not be silenced by the voices of reason or moderation, for we are the snackers of the people, and we will not be denied.
Snack Ethics Snacktivism Pledge Breakers