Reports are emerging of a critical shortage of Cheez-Its. The usually reliable supply chain, responsible for delivering an estimated 4.7 million units of the crunchy crackers daily, has failed.
As of 02:47:01, the exact cause of the disruption remains unknown. Theories range from 'sudden and inexplicable loss of cornmeal' to 'sabotage by an unknown party.'
A team of experts, known as 'The Crunchy Crisis Committee', has been assembled to investigate and restore order to the supply chain.
Stay tuned for further updates as this situation develops. In the meantime, we recommend stocking up on non-perishable snacks.
A special report on the alleged 'Cracker Cartel' behind the shortage.
Information on how to stockpile essential snacking supplies for the long haul.
Shift Schedules for Crunchy Heroes
The heroic individuals risking life and limb to keep the snack supply chain running.