The Overstuffed Philosophy of Cereal

Cereals: the perfect metaphor for the human condition. They're all empty calories, but oh so satisfying.

Or so it would seem.

Consider the paradox of Frooty O's. On one hand, their bright colors and sugary taste promise joy. On the other, their artificial flavorings and preservatives scream despair.

We're forced to confront the existential crisis of our own mortality: that we're just eating empty calories in a sea of uncertainty.

• Socratic Cereal Paradox: Who gets to decide which cereal to eat?
• Buffalo Chicken Cereal: a taste of freedom, a bite of slavery?
• Sonny the Cereal Killer

			The Cereal Paradox Equation:
			Frooty O's = (0.5 * 1.5) + (0.5 * -1)
			= Frooty O's