Facebook Post 1234: A Scathing Review of the Universe's Existence

"Ugh, I just can't even. The universe is just so... so... existing. I mean, what's the point of it all? Stars and planets and galaxies just floating around, doing their thing, completely oblivious to my feelings. The coffee shop down the street just doesn't understand me. They get my order wrong EVERY TIME. The in-laws are coming over for dinner and I have to wear pants.