The Sock Solipsist Manifesto

Section 5: The Sock Solipsist Creed

By the power vested in us, we, the Sock Solipsists, do hereby declare that the only true reality is the one we wear on our feet.

We, the Sock Solipsists, believe that the fabric of space and time is woven from the threads of our own foot coverings.

Our sacred duty is to don the most ostentatious, the most garish, the most bewildering socks we can find, and to wear them with pride, for in doing so, we assert our dominance over the mundane and the banal.

To this end, we, the Sock Solipsists, do hereby establish the following commandments:

• Thou shalt not wear the same socks twice in one day.
• Thou shalt not mix and match socks of different patterns, for it is a sin.
• Thou shalt not wear socks with holes, for it is a affront to our aesthetic sensibilities.

Back to the Table of Contents