Warning: Do not approach. The socks have reached critical meltdown temperature and are now a hazardous material.
Caused by: Overuse of the dryer, underuse of the washing machine, and general neglect.
We have detected the following symptoms:
Thermo-Meltdown Syndrome (TMS) - Socks are now stuck to your feet like a second skin, making it difficult to remove.
Sock-Foot Disorder (SFD) - Socks have merged with your skin, causing a faintly glowing, yet somehow disturbingly pleasant sensation.
What you can do:
Seek immediate medical attention, or