We're a cutting-edge company that specializes in sucking the soul out of anything that's remotely happy, fulfilling, or life-affirming.
Our team of highly trained soul suckers is ready to drain the joy from any product, service, or relationship that's currently making you feel good.
Click here to learn more about our services: Services
Or, visit our FAQ page to see if you're a candidate for soul sucking: FAQ
Disclaimer: Our services are not responsible for causing permanent emotional damage or existential crises. Side effects may include, but are not limited to: depression, anxiety, or a strong desire to watch cat videos all day.