Sparkle-Proofing Methods

A comprehensive guide to making your home shine like a disco ball.

Method 1: The Disco Shine

Use only the finest, most expensive, and most unnecessary disco-themed cleaning products available. Nothing says 'sparkle' like a $50 bottle of glittering polish.

Method 2: The Fluorescent Frenzy

Install a series of strobe lights in every room. Your neighbors will appreciate the 3am light shows.

Learn more about Strobe Lights of Justice

Method 3: The Strobe Lights of Justice

Use your home as a makeshift rave party. The neighbors may call the cops, but it'll be worth it.

Don't forget to try the Disco Shine!