ALERT SYSTEM

LEVEL 2: CRITICAL

INCOMING FIREBALL

Reports indicate a rogue fireball is heading straight for the server room. All personnel are advised to evacuate immediately.

Estimated time of impact: 30 seconds.

Recommendation: Panic and Panic some more.

Or, you know, just duck and cover like a normal person.

LAST MINUTE WARNING

Server logs indicate a 4th-level system administrator has been spotted attempting to "accidentally" shut down the server.

Recommended course of action: Alert Level 3 or higher.