Congratulations on reaching the esteemed Stapler Troubleshooting Protocol 9000! This is the most advanced and least used stapler maintenance guide in the world.
For further assistance, visit our Stapler Maintenance page.
The stapler is:
We recommend consulting our Stapler Theorists for further analysis.
The stapler has:
Please visit our Stapler Psychotherapists to discuss your stapler's mental health.
Remember, the Stapler 9000 is not just a stapler – it's a reflection of humanity's unrelenting drive for efficiency, productivity, and occasionally, madness.