APPENDIX B: Stapling a Stapler Singularity Avoidance Techniques

WARNING: Staplers are not just paper-pushers. They are time-sucking vortexes of existential dread.

Technique 1: The 3-Second Rule

Don't stare into the stapler for more than 3 seconds, lest you become trapped in its abyss of paper jammed-ness.

• Step 1: Stare into the stapler for 3 seconds.
• Step 2: Turn away.
• Step 3: Repeat as necessary.

Technique 2: The Stapler-Free Zone

Create a stapler-free area in your workspace. It's like a safe room for your sanity.

• Designate a stapler-free zone using caution tape and a sternly worded memo.
• Stock the area with stapler-shaped stress balls.
• Place a sign that reads 'STAPLER-FREE ZONE: DO NOT APPROACH'.