Step 1: Develop an arsenal of sleep-disrupting tools. This may include, but is not limited to:

  1. Earplugs so loud they'll think the apocalypse is coming
  2. A fan set to maximum speed, pointed directly at the bed
  3. A collection of loud, obnoxious alarm clocks
  4. A VHS player with the volume turned up to 11
  5. A can of "Sudden Death" brand hairspray, guaranteed to give them a face full of static and a hair full of panic

Step 2: Deploy your arsenal at precisely 2 AM, when they're at their most vulnerable. Use your most devastating tactics first, then move on to the next phase of your plan.

Step 3: Deny, deny, deny. If they try to call the authorities or complain to their parents, tell them it's a "dream" and you're just trying to get some sleep.