Sub-Hack 2: Magic Formulas

Here lies the secret to making your enemies do your bidding. Literally.

• Formula 001: The Sudden Onset of Sudden Interest
• Formula 002: The Inexplicable Attraction of Socks
• Formula 003: The Uncontrollable Cravings for Cereal

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Formula 001: The Sudden Onset of Sudden Interest

For when you want to make your enemies do your bidding without any actual effort.

Ingredients:

• 1 cup of eye contact
• 2 cups of raised eyebrow
• 3 drops of condescending tone
• 1 teaspoon of passive-aggressive sigh
• 1/4 cup of subtle menace
• 1/8 cup of 'I'm watching you'

Mix all ingredients together. Stir counterclockwise. Conjure the desired effect.

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Formula 002: The Inexplicable Attraction of Socks

When your socks have a stronger hold on you than your partner does.

• Side Effect 001: Uncontrollable Sock Hoarding
• Side Effect 002: Socks in Unmentionable Places

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Side Effect 001: Uncontrollable Sock Hoarding

When your sock collection becomes the bane of your existence.

Side Effects Include:

• Excessively large sock drawers
• Missing matches in the most inconvenient places
• Excessive sock-related anxiety
• Unexplained sock smell

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Side Effect 002: Socks in Unmentionable Places

When your socks decide to go rogue and find their own hiding spots.

• Inside the fridge
• Under the couch cushions
• Inside the washing machine
• On top of the cat's head

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Formula 003: The Uncontrollable Cravings for Cereal

When you're driven by an unrelenting hunger for crunchy goodness.

Ingredients:

• 1 box of cereal
• 1 bowl
• 1 spoon
• 1 glass of milk
• 1/4 cup of sugar
• 1/8 cup of regret
• 1/16 cup of 'I should not be eating this'

Combine ingredients. Eat. Repeat.

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