The Future of Prophets

A 2025 Outlook on Destiny and Foresight

Welcome to the Future of Prophets, where we predict your every move, and you probably won't even notice.

Our team of highly trained, marginally talented seers will guide you through the crystal ball of destiny. Because who needs actual accuracy when you can just be vaguely optimistic?

Explore our:

• Prophecies of Doom
• Fortune Telling Tips
• Fortune Cookies (Not Actually Cookies)

Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous:

• Enter at Your Own Risk (aka, the 'Maybe I Shouldn't Have Come Here')