Submandate 102: The Unofficial Guide to Extreme Knitting Patterns

We regret to inform you that knitting scarves out of your eyelashes is not, in fact, a viable career path. However, if you're still determined to pursue your dreams, Submandate 102 offers expert guidance on:

• The Art of Knitting with Your Fingernails
• Advanced Techniques for Knitting Your Toes
• The Physics of Knitting a Scarf with a Built-in Mustache

We cannot be held responsible for any resulting yarn-related injuries. Proceed at your own risk.