The Official Submandate Complaints Page

Dear Submandate, we're not sure how you're still in business, but here's a list of our complaints:

• Why do your products always come with 17 different types of batteries?
• Why does the manual for your toaster have a 300-page novel hidden within it?
• Why do your customer service representatives sound like they're reading from a script?
• Can you please, for the love of all that is prophets, just get rid of the "optional" feature that doesn't work with anything else?

Best regards, A Frustrated Customer

Why does my toaster have 17 batteries? The manual is a novel! Why is customer service so robotic? Please get rid of the optional feature that doesn't work!