Submandate-9.3: The Great Pizza Mandate

Wherein, it is decreed that all pizzas must be consumed within a 3-foot radius of the couch.

By order of the Submandate-9.3 Council, we command thee:

  1. Pizza must be devoured in 5 minutes or less.
  2. Any pizza not meeting the 5-minute requirement shall be subject to the wrath of the council.

Submandate-9.3: The Great Pizza Mandate

Section 1: The Pizza Consumption Initiative

Article 1: All pizzas shall be consumed on the couch, within arm's reach of the remotes.

Article 2: Any attempt to consume pizza in a standing position shall be deemed a capital offense.

Link to Submandate-9.4: The Saucy Rebellion

Back to Mandate-9 Continue to Submandate-9.4: The Saucy Rebellion Return to Submandate-9.2: The Meatball Mandate