Advanced Telepathic Probes

For the truly committed mind controller

Our telepathic probes are the most advanced in the industry. With our patented MindSqueeze technology, you'll be able to extract thoughts from your victims... err, "test subjects" with ease.

But don't just take our word for it! Check out our testimonials:

"I was able to extract the exact shade of blue I wanted from my coworker's brain!" - John D.
"I now own 10 identical copies of the same cat meme, thanks to our probes!" - Jane S.
"I'm not sure what's more disturbing, the fact that our probes work or that I have to return them after 6 months for a 'maintenance upgrade'." - Bob S.

Subliminal Messages

Want to get into someone's head without actually trying? Our subliminal messages are the perfect way to plant a seed of doubt, hope, or utter despair into someone's mind. Simply fill out the form below and we'll take care of the rest:

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