Submandates: Trade-in Program FAQ

Q: What is the Submandate Trade-in Program?

A: It's a program designed to help you trade in your old, obsolete, and utterly useless skills for shiny new ones! Think of it as a digital garage sale, but for your brain.

Learn more about the rules! Check your eligibility!

Trade-in Program Rules

Q: What skills are eligible for trade-in?

A: Anything that's not making you money, or worse, making you miserable.

• Old skills: Think "how to use a flip phone" or "how to fold a fitted sheet"
• Useless skills: Like "how to make a decent cup of coffee using a siphon"
• Broken skills: Like "how to fix a toaster using only a paperclip and prayers"

More FAQs about the program!

Trade-in Program Eligibility

Q: How do I know if I'm eligible to trade-in my skills?

A: We'll have to ask you a series of increasingly ridiculous questions to determine your worth. Don't worry, it's a quick process, and our robots won't judge you.

• Are you able to recite the entirety of "The Art of the Impossibly Perfect Sandwich" from memory?
• Can you name five consecutive episodes of "The Muppet Show" from the 80s?
• Have you ever successfully hatched a scheme to steal a cookie from a cookie jar using only a spatula and a trombone?

Take our advanced eligibility test!