Confidential Briefing Document

As per intel from Eyes on the Ground, our top sources have confirmed that an alien armada is en route to Earth. Details are sketchy, but it's looking like they're coming for the cheese.

Key takeaways:

• Unidentified Flying Objects (UFOs) spotted over major cities
• Unconfirmed reports of "tentacle" sightings
• Alien warships reportedly armed to the teeth (and eyes)

Recommendation:

1. Stay calm, but not too calm. We're talking "code red" calm.
2. Stock up on snacks. We're talking "doomsday bunker" snacks.
3. Bury any valuable items, including but not limited to: grandma's dentures, your first edition Star Wars figurine collection, and that one weird cousin you haven't seen since high school

For more information, including but not limited to: Alien Warship Blueprints, Alien Sighting Maps, and Alien Disinformation Campaigns, visit:

• Operations Center
• Propaganda and Disinformation Hub