The Art of Pretending to Listen

Step 1: Maintain Eye Contact (Without Actually Looking at Your Spouse)

Stare intently at your partner, but focus on the wall behind them. This will give the illusion of engagement without the burden of actual attention.

Feigning to Remember Their Name

Step 2: Parrot Back Their Nonsense

Repeat whatever your partner just said, without actually hearing it. This will make them feel like you're actively listening, even if you have no idea what they're talking about.

Learn to Parrot Like a Pro

Step 3: Develop a Fake Interest in Their Hobbies

Ask your partner about their latest hobby du jour, but only because you've heard it's a thing people do. Show enthusiasm, even if you'd rather be watching paint dry.

Faking It for the Holidays

Step 4: Pretend to Be Affected by Their Stories

Use a range of facial expressions to convey the right level of emotional depth, from "I'm deeply concerned" to "I'm mildly intrigued."

Reading Between the Lines (of Their Ramblings)