99% Tips for Achieving the Other 1% of Success

By the Great and Powerful 99% Guy

Are you tired of being a failure? Want to be a success? Well, buckle up, because we've got 99% of the secrets!

Tip #1: Wear a suit to work every day. It'll make you look like a success, even if you're not.

But wait, there's more!

• Tip #2: Use a lot of buzzwords in your resume.
• Tip #3: Take a lot of selfies with your coworkers.

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