Oh no, I'm so sorry. My computer just won't turn on. I think it's because I left the cat in charge of the power settings. They're a bit of a diva, you know.
But don't worry, I'm sure it's not because I spent all weekend playing video games and forgot to update the software. Or maybe it's just because I'm secretly a 90s kid trying to get my 386 working again.
Either way, I'll just have to blame it on the cat. It's a classic excuse, really. My Internet Is Slow next, maybe?