Rule 1: We're Not Kidding, This is a Real Meeting

Meetings are the lifeblood of any respectable organization. We take them very seriously, even if they're not.

Read Rule 2: The Meeting Schedule is Sacred

Rule 2: The Meeting Schedule is Sacred

Meetings are only as good as the schedule that governs them. We have a strict 9-to-5 policy, no exceptions.

Read Rule 3: Don't @ us on Slack, We Won't Answer

Rule 3: Don't @ us on Slack, We Won't Answer

We're not paying for a team that can't even use the internet correctly. Don't @ us, or we'll never speak to you again.

Rule 4: We're Not Paying for Your Lunch, You're On Your Own

We're not made of money, you know. Don't expect us to foot the bill for your avocado toast habit.

Rule 5: The Coffee Machine is a Sensitive Topic

Tread carefully, lest you want to incur the wrath of the bean counters. Don't even think about it, just drink your tea.