Team Communication Strategies: Where the Rubber Meets the Wall

Part III: The Seriously Serious Method is not for the faint of heart. In this installment of our series, we explore the art of communication so brutal, it'll leave you questioning your life choices.

Lesson III: The Art of Passive-Aggressive Email Templates

We've all been there: stuck in a never-ending loop of "reply all" and "cc" and "forward to me." But fear not, dear reader, for today we'll learn the art of crafting emails that say nothing, mean everything, and make everyone hate you.

Lesson IV: The Power of the Silent Treatment

The "I'm Not Arguing, I'm Just Explaining Why I'm Right" Template

Lesson Notes:

This template is perfect for when you want to appear as though you're engaged in a constructive discussion, while actually just reiterating your original position.

Key features of this template include:

• A carefully worded opening sentence that acknowledges the other person's point of view, while simultaneously negating it
• A series of bullet points that summarize your original position, with added emphasis on your own opinions
• A closing sentence that reiterates your original statement, with added flair and rhetorical flair

Example Usage:

Here's an example of this template in action:

Original Message: "I don't think we should do X"

Template Response: "I understand that you might think we should do X, but I'm afraid I must respectfully disagree. Allow me to reiterate my original position: X is, in fact, the correct course of action because of Y and Z. I'm not sure how you could have misunderstood this so thoroughly."

Remember, this template is for advanced users only. Proceed with caution.