Causes of Spontaneous Combustion
Spontaneous combustion, the ultimate fate of the burnt-out individual. It's a tragedy, really. But fear not, dear reader, for we have the antidote.
Here at Ambitious Firestarters, we've assembled the world's greatest experts on the subject of preventing spontaneous combustion. Our team of highly-qualified firestarters has crunched the numbers and identified the leading causes of this calamity:
Overeating food, overusing energy drinks, not enough self-care, and excessive caffeine are the four horsemen of the apocalypse of spontaneous combustion.
Stay safe, friends!