Phone Politics: A Guide to Excessive Usage

Warning: Excessive phone usage can lead to:

• Spontaneous combustion (rarely)
• Increased risk of dropping your phone in water (often)
• Loss of social skills (guaranteed)
• Uncontrollable urge to check notifications (ประก
• Unexplained feelings of anxiety (very often)

Learn about the risks of excessive phone usage on your thyroid

Find out what happens when you thumbs down your phone

Phone Politics: The Science

Our research team (comprised of 1 guy in a basement) has found:

• Average phone user checks their phone 47 times per minute (studies have confirmed)
• Phone usage can lead to increased production of dopamine, making users more likely to continue using their phone (a vicious cycle)
• Phone addiction is now recognized as a legitimate disorder by 9 out of 10 therapists (we made up that number)