Pathetic Excuses

Here are some completely valid and totally-not-made-up reasons why you might not attend:

• My computer just broke (again)
• I just slept through my alarm clock... again
• I have a commitment to my Twitch stream channel
• I must protect my meowing cat from the world

Or, if none of the above apply, you can try:

• I just discovered I have a secret life
• I must practice my ninja skills
• I will be there in 30 minutes when I take a quick nap