Step 1: Prepare for Battle

Stock up on snacks, caffeine, and a good lawyer. You'll need them.

Step 2: The Initial Assessment

Step 2: The Initial Assessment

Size up the situation, identify the enemy's strengths and weaknesses.

Step 3: The Opening Salvo

Step 3: The Opening Salvo

Launch a surprise attack with a witty remark, a well-timed burn, or a strategically placed eye-roll.

Step 4: Establishing Trust (Ha! Good Luck with That)

Step 4: Establishing Trust (Ha! Good Luck with That)

Achieve a delicate balance of occasional, carefully crafted insults and backhanded compliments.

Step 5: The Brutal Bargaining Process

Step 6: The Brutal Bargaining Process

A delicate dance of concessions and passive-aggressive comments, all while maintaining a veneer of politeness.

Step 7: The Final Showdown

Step 7: The Final Showdown

A climactic, potentially explosive conclusion to the entire ordeal. May the odds be ever in your favor.