Today, I finally managed to trap myself in the supply closet for 8 hours. The highlight of my day was when the janitor tried to feed me a sandwich, but I was too busy contemplating the meaning of existence to eat it.
As I sit here in the darkness, surrounded by boxes of paper towels and cleaning supplies, I realize that I've been here for 3 days. I've been subsisting on nothing but stale air and the occasional fly buzzing around my head.
I've made contact with a few fellow isolated individuals in the Bug Squad. There's Steve, who's been here since the 80s, and Karen, who thinks she's a hermit crab. They've taught me the art of survival in the most extreme conditions.