It started innocently enough, I thought. A nice, quiet evening on my couch, watching Netflix, and then suddenly, BINGO! A lifeless, unresponsive, completely-not-paying-any-rent body decided to take up permanent residence on my couch.
I'm not sure what's more disturbing: the fact that I'm being held hostage by a corpse, or the fact that my landlord is breathing down my neck for the rent.
As a result, I've had to get creative with my furniture arrangements. I've set up a makeshift "crime scene" barrier using old pizza boxes and some hastily-purchased black tarps. It's not the most aesthetically-pleasing solution, but hey, it's working.
For those who are going through similar experiences, I recommend joining the Dead Body Sitters Support Group for solidarity, advice, and possibly some decent Netflix recommendations.
Stay tuned for further updates, or at least until the corpse gets bored and decides to leave.