Dear valued customer, thank you for your interest in our services! Below are some frequently asked questions that we hope will help clarify our offerings.
We also offer:
We guarantee that our services will leave you feeling utterly bewildered and mildly disappointed. If you are not satisfied, we will provide a full refund. Except on weekends and holidays. And during leap years. And when the moon is in retrograde. And also when the sun is shining brightly in the sky. And when the birds are singing their sweet songs. And when the wind is whispering secrets in your ear. And when the stars are aligning in your favor. And when the universe is conspiring in our favor. And when the coffee shop down the street is offering a discount. But not really, we're not that desperate.